Really. Sometimes I am perfectly fine. I don't think about him at all, and I feel wonderful
But sometimes he's ALL I can think about.
Sometimes I can't stop thinking about him and the fact that he's not in my life anymore.
My heart feels like it's literally being crushed. I want to cry or scream or destroy something...
Or I get so angry... at the fact that he's never fought for our friendship. For me.
Four months of silence. Only one month less than the last time I did this, but this time it's HARDER.
Maybe because he promised to change... to try... to do SOMETHING.
And he didn't. So that hurts. And I gave up again, and he hasn't done/said anything. So that hurts even more.
I try to be strong. I try to act happy. I try to push him from my thoughts, because obviously he doesn't think of me.
Sometimes I think I'll feel this helpless forever.
And... sometimes I'm fine.
